7 Simple Steps for Retreating with a Friend
Have you been longing for a First Love Silent Retreat? Wait no longer!
“After this miracle, the news about Jesus spread even farther. Massive crowds continually gathered to hear him speak and to be healed from their illnesses. But Jesus often slipped away from them and went into the wilderness to pray.” Luke 5:15-16
We have something wonderful to share with you today. Many of you have reached out eager for our next retreat and new date. Well, the Lord has led us to something even better!
A while back, I got a text from my good friend, Julie. Our First Love retreats had been on hold since the ministry at the Sanctuary, and writing the book required that I set facilitating retreats on the shelf. But Julie didn’t want to wait anymore. Even without a scheduled retreat, could the two of us go on retreat together and have the same intimate experience with God?
Just like Jesus in the verse above, amid great “success” when crowds of people were being saved and healed--at a time when you might think that God would tell him to keep moving full-steam ahead, Jesus heard the still, small voice of the Father calling Him to come away.
Jesus’ example teaches us that, above all, it’s not our ministry or work that the Father values most, but our 1-on-1 relationship with Him.
Life’s demands continue day after day. And even the joys of friends, family, work, and ministry deplete us if pursued without regular times when we withdraw to wilderness places of our own. Responsibilities, relationships, and ministry are all wonderful things. But the thing that keeps them all in balance is our time alone with the Father.
We need extended times with our heavenly Father in prayer.
As spiritual giant and theologian Evelyn Underhill, who lived in England in the mid-20th century, wisely said,
“In our busy everyday lives, ‘we lose all sense of proportion’ and become ‘restless, fussy, full of things that simply must be done… quite oblivious of the only reason anything should be done.’”
When Julie texted, it was perfect timing. I’d been missing our retreats—longing for days with the Lord, not just hours. I jumped at the chance, and we scheduled a 48-hour retreat at a nearby center.
Our time was fantastic. The Lord met us as He always does. We heard His still, small voice, and he filled every crevice of our being.
And in the process, I discovered a new way of going on retreat!
Since then, I’ve been looking forward to sharing it with you—the ones who have attended our retreats and have tasted the sweetness of intimacy with God, longing to return again.
You don’t have to wait anymore! I’m excited to introduce you to this simple format: The First Love Friend Retreat.
First Love Retreat Format
Think of a friend
Choose a friend who has a desire to grow in their relationship with God and whom you know you could have spiritual conversations with. Share your desire to go away for 24-48 hours to have time with God and short conversations with each other.
2. Find a Quiet Place
Brainstorm about where you could go. Choose a quiet, beautiful place, where you can each have your own room, and if possible, outdoor space to sit or walk, and drink in some fresh air and sunshine. This could be a retreat center, prayer cabin, bed and breakfast, or Airbnb. A location within an hour is ideal, but a location farther away is also an option.
3. Commute Together or Apart
Discuss whether you want to ride together or meet at the location. The retreat center Julie and I went to was about an hour away. We decided to ride together so that we could do our pre- and post-retreat sharing during our commute. However, it can also be beneficial to have time alone on your commute for prayer and reflection. One way isn’t superior to the other. Pray and then do what you feel the Lord is leading you to do.
4. Set Intentions as You Begin
During your commute or when you arrive, meet to discuss three things:
What has God been doing in your life lately?
Why are you feeling drawn to this retreat?
What is your prayer… what are you longing for on this retreat?
Take turns sharing without interruptions. Then pray for one another.
5. Decide When You Will Meet
Decide when you will meet for spiritual companioning during your retreat time. It can also be helpful to agree to do your time as a silent retreat. This means that you resist talking to each other (except when you meet for spiritual companioning), to give each other as much space as possible for true rest and time with God.
A good meeting schedule for a 48-hour retreat would at the beginning, middle, and end of your retreat.
6. Spiritual Companioning Sessions
When you meet, limit your sharing session to an hour. Start with a minute or two of silence to center your hearts. Then one person shares their experience so far while the other listens attentively, intentionally refraining from jumping in too quickly when the sharer pauses. Often, just through speaking things out loud in that holy space, the Lord will bring the one sharing understanding and revelation. After sharing, pause for minute or two of silence, asking the Lord to give the listener an insight in the form of a scripture, image, or a song to pass on to the sharer.
Then, switch to the other person and do the same. Close together in prayer.
7. End with Prayer and Reflection
Meet at the end of your retreat to reflect and pray together.
That’s it! If you're local, be sure to check out our '7 Favorite Retreat Spaces' download. We can't wait to hear about all the beautiful things that God does in your relationship with Him and with your brother or sister in Christ as you embark on your retreat journey!
Prayer Prompt:
Pause for a moment or two to open yourself to God and prayer. As you do, notice what you sense the Spirit doing inside ….
Does this tug at something in your heart?
Do you hear the Lord calling you to come and spend time with Him on retreat?
What friend is He bringing to your mind to ask?
Until next time… let’s lift each other in prayer.
Remember …. that every moment is an invitation to grow closer to God and one another. May we respond faithfully to each one.
Bryan & Lori